Be Mindful of Your Words
A member in Texas didn’t quite understand from where the confusion was coming. He had turned over management to his son and very capable management team, but his casual, even offhand comments created quite a stir. People jumped to take action on the founder’s comments even when they’d been directed otherwise by their bosses. What was going on?
Please tune in this week as Wayne relates the story of King Henry II and Thomas Becket (from the year 1170 no less!) and why you, especially as a senior leader, must choose your words carefully indeed when around employees who don’t know you very well. Please share with us in the comments whether you have experienced similar “10x power” words in your organization and what you did to limit “direction via indirection.”
2023 Boot Camp cities and dates are now available! The Contractor Business Boot Camp will take place in Dallas on May 11-12, Denver on August 10-11, Toronto on October 5-6 and Raleigh on November 9-10. Please contact Charlotte at ckopp@familybusinessinstitute.com for more information.
Hi, this is Wayne Rivers at FBI, where We Build Better Contractors.
This week I want to talk about being mindful of what you say. Before I get there, Boot Camp. Boot Camp in 2023. Our
February class here in Raleigh is just about full. I doubt if there are any seats available for that. However, we will be
announcing four or maybe five new bootcamps next year in various cities around the country, including Toronto, Canada,
and contact Charlotte for more information on the Boot Camps for 2023. She's got dates, locations, all the other relevant
details. Okay.
I want to tell you a story. In 1170 over 800 years ago, the King of England was King Henry II, and he was frustrated because
Thomas Becket, the Archbishop of Canterbury, had ex-communicated a number of bishops who supported the king. And
there was a bit of a power struggle between the crown and the religious side of English society. This riff, you might say,
between the king and the archbishop was captured in literature in 1740 and 1772, but most notably in our time in the
1964 film, Becket. And the way they stated the lie, king Henry's frustration in 1964 was, will no one rid me of this
meddlesome priest. Tonight here, King Henry utters this phrase, will no one rid me of this medicine priest.
They don't take it as a comment made out of frustration. They take it as an order from their king. So, they went to Becket's
home, and they assassinated him thinking they were doing the right thing. This was a public relations disaster in 1170 for
the king, and he was vilified. Whereas Becket was honored and venerated in English society. It was so bad for the king, he
had to do public penance to get back in the good graces of the people. I mean, that's a big deal.
All right. Now, why am I telling you this story from 800 and almost 50 years ago? Well, because it's the holiday season and
you're going to be around your employees maybe a little bit more than usual. And I want to admonish you to choose your
words carefully. Make sure that your conversations with your employees are on plan. And what I mean by that is that
you're talking about your strategic plan. You're talking about your vision for the future. You're talking about where you're
going to be in 2023 and beyond. You're talking up and cheerleading for the plan. You are consistent when you talk about
mission, vision, and values, and you're also consistent with your other senior leaders. You might need to huddle up on
this. The worst thing that you can do is be a loose cannon and be doing things that are inconsistent with the plan.
And now, why do I bring this up? What's going on here? I was visiting with a client in Texas earlier in the year, and the
founder has turned things over pretty much to his son and to his really competent team of non-family senior leaders. But
he still comes in the office a lot, and there's some confusion in the organization about who's actually running the thing.
And the founder talked to me a couple times about saying things that got misinterpreted or blown out of proportion or
something like that. And I had to tell him that a business can have lots of presidents over its lifetime. It's only going to
have one founder. And the founder just carries so much weight, just a guy who created something from nothing, and his
words have 10 times the power. This guy just thinks of himself, even though he is the founder, as another employee in
the company. He doesn't realize his words have 10X the power of anybody else in the organization.
So, like King Henry, people interpret musings that he might state as orders. It's called direction versus indirection. And so,
you've got to be careful and mindful about what you say about your people. So, cheer lead for your senior leaders, cheer
lead for the plan, cheer lead for your mission, vision, and values. Don't be a loose cannon. Be careful what you say. And
I'd like to have your comments and the feedback. What King Henry II and Thomas Becket examples have you had in your
business tenure? This is Wayne Rivers at FBI. Happy holidays, and We Build Better Contractors.
