People – Especially Your Family! – Come First

Hi, this is Wayne Rivers at FBI, where We Build Better Contractors. This week I want to talk about why people come first,
especially your family. The inspiration for this vlog comes from Arlin Sorensen. You've heard Dennis and me talk about
Arlin all the time. Just does a great job with his daily blog. I can't believe it.

Valentine's Day is next week. I think this is particularly important. Before I get into it, I want to talk about Boot Camp. We
have Boot Camp classes scheduled for 2023 now: Dallas, May 11th; Denver, August 10th; Toronto, October 5th; and
Raleigh, November 9th. Our first '23 class is already booked solid, 100%. Four additional... Dallas, Denver, Toronto, and
Raleigh. Contact Charlotte, and she'll give you some more information.

Valentine's Day is next week. We think about that flowers and candy and all that stuff. But what really gets in the way of
our relationships the other 364 days a year, not Valentine's Day? What gets in the way of our relationships? What about
this is important to you? Well, golly. If construction is a people business and it's all about relationships, then isn't family
all about relationships? Isn't family the ultimate people business?

There've been a lot of surveys about people's use and reliance on their cell phones, their smartphones, and their iPads.
For lots of people, not having that phone or iPad in their hands is literally a frightening experience. I went to a family
dinner over the holidays, and two-thirds of the people at the table... I mean, they've got their phones. They're either taking
a picture, or they're getting a quick text sent back to someone. I left mine in the car, thinking, "This is a big family event."
I didn't want my phone to get in the way of it.

The phones actually damage relationships. They damage our psyches. The smartphones are probably one of the very
biggest causes in our society of unhappiness now. There are actually recovery centers in places now for addiction to
smartphones, just like addiction to alcohol or drugs or something of that nature. Arlin quoted an author called Dr. Sylvia
Hart Frejd. She had seven points about smartphone use. I'd like to add one of my own as well.

Here are the seven points. Number one, don't check your phone in the morning until after a certain time. Get your daily
routine, get your day underway first, and then check your phone. In a similar fashion, turning that coin over, have an end
to your digital day. Have a time on the clock where you're going to put that smartphone away, and you're not going to
look at it anymore the rest of the evening. If you have trouble doing that, cutting yourself off, leave your phone in your
office when you leave. Leave your phone in your car when you get home. If you really can't control yourself anymore, give
it to your spouse and have him or her hide it from you or just check it basically. Pick a day a week, maybe, say, Sunday,
and have a digital break, so no iPads, no iPhones, no nothing. Take a digital break, by gosh.

This is number five. Ban phones at business meetings. We do that at FBI because I found that even here, where everybody's
pretty darn engaged, we would be having meetings. People are looking down at their phones, interruptions because of
members getting in touch, or even social things were getting in the way. That became a frustration for me. No more
phones in our business meetings.

Six, check your emails only one time an hour or less. There are people that are very disciplined. They check their emails in
the morning. They check them at lunchtime, and they check them before they leave work in the afternoon. I think that's
a really, really healthy way to deal with the electronic imbalance that we have in our lives.

Here's a good rule. Number seven, do not phone or text when you're in person with other people. People are more
important than tasks. Real people are more important than virtual people. If you're in the presence of other people, like
in a business meeting, for example, don't text or call unless it is absolutely important in the context of the meeting.

Here's the eighth one. This is the one I'd like to add. Get that phone out of your bedroom at night. If you wake up in the
middle of the night because of whatever reason and the first thing you do is pick up that phone, the light is so distracting.
It's bad for your sleep, not to mention the fact that now your mind is going off in a hundred different directions. "Oh my
gosh. Someone's not happy with a project. Oh my gosh. What are we going to do?" Then, you can't sleep because you're
worrying about work again. Get the phone out of your bedroom. I leave mine downstairs. It's way away from me. I couldn't
hear it if it rang anyway. Get it out of there.

People are more important than tasks, and people are more important... Real people! Live, breathing human people are
more important than virtual people. The way Arlin said it is this. I cannot say it better. "Reclaim the control over your time
that the digital invasion has taken." The digital invasion. Think about that. I'd like to hear. What are your tips? How do you
cope? How do you cope with the onslaught of emails and texts and calls, and everything else? What rules work for you
and help you deepen your relationships?

Happy Valentine's Day. I look forward to hearing from you. Wayne Rivers at FBI.